Assassin's Apprentice

Daniella and Evelyne discuss Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb. Highlights include Daniella reminiscing about a rival in elementary school, plot vs. character driven stories, and Evelyne gives a perfect example of a description of a female character from a male epic fantasy author.

Transcript

Announcer:

This is Intoxicated Literature.

Evelyne Crowe:

Hello, and welcome to Intoxicated Literature. This is Evelyne Crowe.

Daniella Drake:

And I am Daniella Drake.

Evelyne Crowe:

And we are talking about classic epic fantasy today. We are going all the way back to what, 1995, I think, and this is Assassin's Apprentice by Robin Hobb.

Daniella Drake:

Oh, an oldie but a goodie.

Evelyne Crowe:

Oh, it's so good. Oh, my God.

Daniella Drake:

Anyone that hasn't read this book should read it. This series is one of my favorite series of all time. I reread it at least once a year.

Evelyne Crowe:

Oh, my God, it's one of my top reads for life.

Daniella Drake:

For sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

This and... Yeah.

Daniella Drake:

Love it so much. I love too... Okay, wait, before we get into it, what are we drinking tonight?

Evelyne Crowe:

I am drinking a Wolf in Lamb's Clothing. Okay, they serve this at the Kentucky Derby. It's like a Bee's Knees, so you got gin and honey and a little bit of lemon juice. And then you top it with Lambrusco, which is a sweet Italian wine.

Daniella Drake:

It makes it so dark, it looks almost purple.

Evelyne Crowe:

It does look really purple, and it's not my favorite, but it's drinkable. And I've had three of them and I am crocked.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, this should be a very interesting episode. We will have spoilers, possibly for the entire series, so just be aware we tried really hard. We are-

Evelyne Crowe:

We what really hard?

Daniella Drake:

We twied, I said it.

Evelyne Crowe:

Look, we have read the entire series multiple times.

Daniella Drake:

Multiple times, yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

We will try to keep it to Assassin's Apprentice, but we make no promises, so we will try really hard.

Daniella Drake:

This is also one of our favorite series, so yeah, I'm sorry, but if you haven't read it, please, please, please, please, please-

Evelyne Crowe:

Please, go read it.

Daniella Drake:

... go read it because it's really, really good.

Evelyne Crowe:

Oh, my God.

Daniella Drake:

And then come back and listen because we are going to ruin it for you, and I don't want to because it is just so good.

Evelyne Crowe:

It's so good. Just go read it.

Daniella Drake:

We also swear like sailors.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

There's not really spicy times.

Evelyne Crowe:

No spice in this, yeah.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, so it's mostly just the swearing. Yeah, let's get into it.

Evelyne Crowe:

I read this as a fledgling fantasy reader way back in my college days, and it stuck with me.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, one of my favorite things about this is that most people don't realize, even now, that Robin Hobb is a woman.

Evelyne Crowe:

One of my favorite things that she does is make fun of that on Twitter. It's my favorite things.

Daniella Drake:

Oh, my gosh, I love her so much on Twitter because she literally is just this little old woman, and she'll just be like, "I'm on another top fantasy author list, and they have no idea I'm a woman. Ha ha ha ha."

Evelyne Crowe:

I know, it cracks me up. She'll be on the top 10 fantasy list, and it's all men, and then it's Robin Hobb.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, exactly, and I think the way she does it is because her writing feels very gritty.

Evelyne Crowe:

It does.

Daniella Drake:

And very much in the epic fantasy vein where all these other men are playing. But she creates this world building where just seamlessly, women are equal, unquestioned. They're soldiers, they're in high offices, nobody even thinks about it. It's not even an issue.

Evelyne Crowe:

And again, we're going to compare it to Game of Thrones just because it's popular culture and people know what that is. So, if you were reading Game of Thrones, and then you read Robin Hobb and Assassin's Apprentice together, you would be like, "A man wrote this. It felt the same." But guess what? A woman wrote that.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, yes, and it's just really good. And she does... This first book especially, it is slow. I will give you that. A lot of the reviews were like, "This was too slow." And I'm like, "It's an epic fantasy. The first book is always about world-building and setting up characters, and that's how it works." Especially, at that time, in 1995-

Evelyne Crowe:

Have you read Tolkien? Anyone ever read Tolkien? Because I swear to God, anybody who's read Tolkien cannot complain about slow things fucking move.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly. I'm thinking about Game of Thrones, I'm thinking about Wheel of Time, I'm thinking about all of these other-

Evelyne Crowe:

Wheel of Time doesn't get anything done until fucking 70% in, I swear to God.

Daniella Drake:

I know, exactly. It's like all of these like Steven Erikson, there are so many-

Evelyne Crowe:

Steven Erikson. Don't even get me started on Steven Erikson.

Daniella Drake:

That's fair.

Evelyne Crowe:

We should do one on Steven Erikson too.

Daniella Drake:

We should. We should.

Evelyne Crowe:

We'll get all the dudebros mad at us, but we should do one on Steven Erikson.

Daniella Drake:

Every single one will be yelling at us, but it's okay. They're not our target audience, let's be real. But when you think about those authors, Robin Hobb fits very neatly within all of them, which is why she's always on these top 10 lists because she has the same vibe.

Evelyne Crowe:

She does, she really does, and it really reads. It reads male author, but it's a woman author.

Daniella Drake:

And you can see it. Once you know and you're looking for it, you can see it for sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

[inaudible 00:05:39] because her name is Robin Hobb.

Daniella Drake:

It's so generic.

Evelyne Crowe:

And people think Robin Hood, and so they think man, and they just put her on these lists. It's just patriarchy at its best, and it cracks me up.

Daniella Drake:

She thinks it's hilarious too. She knows that they think that she's a man, and she's just like-

Evelyne Crowe:

Even my husband was like, "Okay, well, I'm the worst because I thought it was a man too. I'm sorry."

Daniella Drake:

It's okay, she thinks it's hilarious.

Evelyne Crowe:

Which killed me. I literally laughed for 15 minutes. I was like, I thought that was hilarious.

Daniella Drake:

I love it. That's so good.

Evelyne Crowe:

The world is really gritty and is a medieval... I mean it's a medieval European setting. It's 1995, what are you going to do?

Daniella Drake:

That's what you got.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yep, so that's the setting, but that's what it feels like. It feels gritty, it feels dirty, it feels like that. But at the same time though, the arms master is a woman, and it's just accepted. There's going to be a queen as an heir, it's just accepted. There's no one arguing about it.

Daniella Drake:

There's no sexism. It's just that is the way that things are.

Evelyne Crowe:

The war is happening on Game of Thrones right now with the Blacks and the Greens or whatever, that would never happen in this Robin Hobb world because a queen would just rule. That's just how it is. It's totally okay, and that is what makes it great is she's feminist without saying feminism real loud.

Daniella Drake:

I will say, a lot of the time you can tell when a male author is writing a female protagonist, right?

Evelyne Crowe:

Yeah. She breasted boobily down the stairs.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly, but Robin Hobb chooses to write about FitzChivalry-

Evelyne Crowe:

Say it again, say it again, try it again.

Daniella Drake:

I cannot. FitzChivalry-

Evelyne Crowe:

FitzChivalry Farseer is the main character.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, and he is the main character, and he is a dude. And she writes him so well though. He feels fully formed, he feels complex, he feels real. And you never question whether or not the author can write a male protagonist.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes. It's almost like she writes a good character.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly, and I will say a lot of her writing is character-driven, so if you're looking for a plot-driven story, this probably isn't the series for you. There is plot, for sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

There is plot.

Daniella Drake:

And it definitely happens, but it is mostly about character. So, if that's what you're looking for, this is definitely... And for me, I love a character-driven story, so I love her series so, so much. I think that all of her characters are so interesting and complex and fully formed.

Evelyne Crowe:

I will say this as warning. Because her books are so character-driven I've cried once a book.

Daniella Drake:

At least.

Evelyne Crowe:

At least.

Daniella Drake:

At least, for sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

At least.

Daniella Drake:

I will also say one of the magic systems in this is being able to talk to animals, and sometimes animals are mistreated.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes. However, it's not gratuitous.

Daniella Drake:

No, and I will say, for me, I'm one of those people that will go online and look at doesthedogdie.com because I cannot watch a show or a movie that has a dog die. When my boyfriend forced me to watch John Wick, for example, I told him I will not watch it when the dog dies. He has to fast-forward until after that. I can't do it. I literally cannot. I can watch people die all the time. Animals, no.

Evelyne Crowe:

Little anecdote: I gave this book to a book club of mine, and then we were formed when Vaginal Fantasy was a thing, and Felicia Day was reading.

Daniella Drake:

Oh, I miss Vaginal Fantasy.

Evelyne Crowe:

I know, it was great, I loved it. But we're like, "Okay, let's read this book." And I'm like, "It's a great epic fantasy book," and we read it. Now, part of this book is that this young boy has this animal magic, and it's frowned upon, it's looked at as bad in this part of the world at the time. And he bonds with this dog named Nosy. At the time, his caretaker, who was not his father, by the way, but who was a great man, you'd love this man, Burrich. Oh, God, I love him so much.

Daniella Drake:

I know.

Evelyne Crowe:

Takes the dog, Nosy, and takes him away from the boy because he was too young to bond with the dog, which is true. Even in-

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, it's not healthy for either of them.

Evelyne Crowe:

It's not, and even in places where it's okay to bond with animals in this magic way, he was too young to do this. And all you know is that the dog is gone, and everyone in my book club is like, "This dog is dead. What the fuck have you done? You have given me a book to read and now this dog is dead, and I hate you so fucking much I'm crying." I'm like, "You have to read to the end of the book."

Daniella Drake:

You have to read it to the end.

Evelyne Crowe:

I would never, in my life, give you a book to read where a puppy, a puppy, was killed. Who are you talking to?

Daniella Drake:

Literally, I'm watching Twister and the first five minutes there's a dog, and I'm like, "What happens to the dog?"

Evelyne Crowe:

For real. The first date I ever went on, the first date I ever went on was to see Twister, and I'm like, "What about the Dog?" And the guy looked at me like, "What the fuck is wrong with you? The dad died."

Daniella Drake:

But what about the dog?

Evelyne Crowe:

I'm like, "What about the dog?"

Daniella Drake:

Same. Same.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, if that gives you any idea into the insight to our brains, there you go.

Daniella Drake:

I'm upset about the horses dying in war movies. I can't do it.

Evelyne Crowe:

I'm just saying, get to the end of this book, please, before you make any judgments about the dogs, and then you will sob like a little baby.

Daniella Drake:

I will say too though that I do feel like one of the main themes in this series is loneliness is something that FitzChivalry and Chade deals with over and over again. And it is sometimes difficult to read if you're in those emotions, so just be aware of that as well. But it's handled so well, and a lot of times, Fitz doesn't realize. It's so easy to dismiss people outside of yourself when you're in that depressive state, and they're thinking, "But I love you. Why are you feeling alone? I'm here for you."

And he has to hear it to believe it in a way. Just be aware that that's one of those things that's happening in this book. But I think that's why I like it so much is because it does have this found family vibe, which is partly what draws me to the cozy fantasy genre, in general, is a lot of those books have the found family.

Evelyne Crowe:

Don't go hearing that and think this is a cozy fantasy.

Daniella Drake:

This is not a cozy fantasy. Not at all, not at all. Please, do not be thinking this is cozy. It's not cozy. It's not cozy, not even close.

Evelyne Crowe:

Not even at all. You will sob your fucking eyes out at the end of this book.

Daniella Drake:

100%. It's cathartic in a way-

Evelyne Crowe:

It is.

Daniella Drake:

... but it's not cozy.

Evelyne Crowe:

Not cozy.

Daniella Drake:

But because it has the found family feel to it, I think that's one of the reasons I love it so much.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

And just having... I mean you've got Fitz, you've got Burrich, you've got Molly, freaking Patience.

Evelyne Crowe:

Oh, God, Patience.

Daniella Drake:

She's so sweet.

Evelyne Crowe:

I love Patience so much.

Daniella Drake:

I know. I love her so much.

Evelyne Crowe:

And I think one of the biggest things that frustrated me the whole series is how much everyone derided Chivalry from marrying Patience.

Daniella Drake:

Agreed.

Evelyne Crowe:

But Patience is smarter than anybody ever gave her credit for. She was smarter in politics than anyone ever gave her credit for.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, 100%.

Evelyne Crowe:

And she was smarter at anything than ever gave... She just didn't give a shit.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, 100%. She didn't care what other people thought, so she just did whatever the fuck she wanted. And that's why people didn't think that she would make a good leader. Which is funny because later in the series, not in this book necessarily, but later in the series, she ends up being the leader that everyone needs. She's like, "This is what needs to happen. You better fucking do what you need to do."

Evelyne Crowe:

Exactly.

Daniella Drake:

And people are just going, "Oh, okay. I guess this is what we got to do, so-"

Evelyne Crowe:

Exactly. I mean because she was just like, "You know what? I don't care about the politics. I am going to be eccentric. I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want. I'm going to climb trees, I'm going to scrape my knees, I'm going to plant my plants, and then I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want."

Daniella Drake:

I mean what I found so upsetting about it is that her being, quote, unquote, "eccentric", is just her being whimsical. It's not anything else. It's just her being happy to find joy in nature or climbing trees or doing something silly, and that's me 100% of the time.

Evelyne Crowe:

I know.

Daniella Drake:

I like to just have a good time, and yes, I'm in my 40s, but why does that mean that I can't find joy in places that maybe most adults don't? That doesn't work for me.

Evelyne Crowe:

Exactly.

Daniella Drake:

So, I've always loved her. I think she is so great. She's so sweet to Fitz when she finally becomes a part of his life. She calls him Tom, which was the name that she was going to give her son-

Evelyne Crowe:

Fitz is the name for a bastard.

Daniella Drake:

Yes.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, in this universe, FitzChivalry Farseer is basically, you're the bastard of Chivalry, and you're a Farseer name. So, you are the bastard of Chivalry of the King Farseer line. For your whole life, you are going to be called the bastard of Chivalry. And so, Patience was like, "Jesus Christ, you're going to put that name on a child? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Daniella Drake:

I know, I know. And it's sad because it's implied, it's never said straight out, but it's implied that she's infertile. And so, she looks at Fitz as the son that she never got to have. And she adopts him in that way, and it's both heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time for both of them. Fitz is like, "I don't know what to do with you." And she's like, "I don't know what to do with you either, but we're family, so-"

Evelyne Crowe:

That's the thing, and I think if it had been handled differently in the beginning because Chivalry abdicated. He abdicated.

Daniella Drake:

Every time I reread this series, this book especially, I think about what the fuck are you doing, Chivalry? What the fuck are you doing? Stay where the fuck you are and just own it. What is wrong with you?

Evelyne Crowe:

Seriously, because his name was fucking Chivalry. In this fantasy-

Daniella Drake:

Universe, yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

... universe, there is a power in names. And so, Chivalry's name was Chivalry. The idea was he's honorable. And so, he had a child out of wedlock, he had an affair. And so, his response to that isn't, "I will take responsibility of this kid," which seems like that would be what you would do.

Daniella Drake:

The adult thing to do.

Evelyne Crowe:

Instead, he just goes, "Oh, shit," abdicates the throne, and runs away.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, basically.

Evelyne Crowe:

Which seems really shitty.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, I agree. I thought that as well. I think it every time I reread it, basically.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yeah.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, Fitz never sees his dad. He never meets his dad. He has no idea what kind of person his dad is at all. He has no contact with the... In this, I identify with FitzChivalry. This whole abandonment issue that he has with Chivalry. And so, he has a lot of different father figures throughout the years. He has Burrich, who is amazing. We love Burrich, who tries-

Daniella Drake:

Raises him the best of his ability.

Evelyne Crowe:

And Burrich isn't perfect, but he tries real hard. He tries real hard. There's the king-

Daniella Drake:

Shrewd.

Evelyne Crowe:

... who's sick and old.

Daniella Drake:

I did have an issue, and even when I reread the books, I have this issue because his name is literally Shrewd, but I feel like he's really not that smart.

Evelyne Crowe:

I think he was once, but he's old and being influenced.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, by the time you meet him, he is quite old.

Evelyne Crowe:

He's old and he's being influenced and drugged, and I think that affects his mind more than he's willing to admit.

Daniella Drake:

I think that's true too. Yeah, for sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

But he's also in pain, and pain and can affect you in ways that people don't want to admit.

Daniella Drake:

For sure. Oh, yeah. Absolutely, for sure, yeah. I will say of all the names in this series, I feel like Regal is the least accurate.

Evelyne Crowe:

I don't know.

Daniella Drake:

Really?

Evelyne Crowe:

I mean if you think of Regal, does it mean honest?

Daniella Drake:

No, not necessarily.

Evelyne Crowe:

Does it mean... What does it mean when you think Regal?

Daniella Drake:

I mean I do think that you're held to a higher standard.

Evelyne Crowe:

Do you, or do you just see gold and a laminate of a king?

Daniella Drake:

I mean, for me, I definitely think you're held to a higher standard, but I can understand how that's not true for everyone because he's the fucking worst.

Evelyne Crowe:

Because I think of Versailles where you have a gold glittering-

Daniella Drake:

Everything is shiny-

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes, but not-

Daniella Drake:

... but it's all surface level, yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I could see how that's true, and I'm sure that that's what Robin Hobb was going for because, man, Regal and his little pal Galen-

Evelyne Crowe:

God, Galen. Fuck Galen to the deepest pits of hell.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, I think Galen is the worst for sure because he literally breaks Fitz's ability to use the skill. He literally stops him from being capable of skill at all.

Evelyne Crowe:

For his entire life.

Daniella Drake:

He's a terrible person.

Evelyne Crowe:

Absolutely, 100% terrible person.

Daniella Drake:

And it makes me upset because Galen was the name of someone I had a crush on in high school. Not in high school, in elementary school.

Evelyne Crowe:

You knew a Galen in elementary school?

Daniella Drake:

Yes. We were rivals. He doesn't know that we were rivals, but we were definitely rivals because he was a good writer and I was a good writer, but he was a better writer and it pissed me off. He came up with a very cool phrase called yippee skippy, and I was like, "How am I supposed to come up with a better phrase than that?"

Evelyne Crowe:

Galen's going to hear this and be like, "Oh, my God."

Daniella Drake:

He's not going to know who the fuck I am. It's going to be hilarious.

Evelyne Crowe:

It's like, "I thought of yippee skippy."

Daniella Drake:

But yeah, I really admired his writing, and it pissed me off at the same time, so when I read this book, every time I think of him. So, yes, anyway. But let's talk about my other favorite character in this book that we get introduced to, which is The Fool. Because this was 1995. This was before the real trans movement happened.

Evelyne Crowe:

I didn't know about... Okay, so there are two books that really made a difference in my formative years. There's this book, and there is Kushiel's Dart. So, this book introduced me to the idea of trans characters period, and Kushiel's Dart introduced me to the idea of you can love anyone, and it's completely okay. Also, BDSM.

Daniella Drake:

A little bit, yes.

Evelyne Crowe:

That's a whole different topic.

Daniella Drake:

Yes.

Evelyne Crowe:

But we have the fool, and the fool is a character we do not know their gender.

Daniella Drake:

It's very unclear. We think that... He introduces himself as he.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

In this book.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

But in another series, they're a she-

Evelyne Crowe:

And their name is Amber.

Daniella Drake:

... and they're living as a woman. So, we really don't know. They're very gender-fluid.

Evelyne Crowe:

And when FitzChivalry asks, they're just like, does it matter?

Daniella Drake:

Exactly. They do not want-

Evelyne Crowe:

It doesn't matter what I am.

Daniella Drake:

... to commit to a gender, which is their right.

Evelyne Crowe:

Which is fair.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

And so, I remember reading this just going, "What?"

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, this was the first series I ever read that had a character like this.

Evelyne Crowe:

And it was presented just as a normal-

Daniella Drake:

No one questioned it.

Evelyne Crowe:

No one questioned it at all. It was completely accepted, and it was wonderful.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, I loved it. Actually, The Fool is one of my favorite characters of all time just because they're so smart, and so caring, and just fascinating as a character.

Evelyne Crowe:

They are.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

They really, really are, and there's so many books where the queer character or the... They're always like the gay best friend, or they're killed off before the end of the book. And a lot of bad things happen to The Fool, don't get me wrong, but a lot of bad things happen to Fitz too. It's not like-

Daniella Drake:

Oh, Fitz's life is not easy.

Evelyne Crowe:

[inaudible 00:24:53].

Daniella Drake:

Sure. Yeah. No, absolutely not. That's why we cry every time we read the-

Evelyne Crowe:

Every fucking time. Every time. So, it feels pretty evenhanded, actually-

Daniella Drake:

Agreed.

Evelyne Crowe:

... if you weight it out.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

And they're tied together. They go together hand-in-hand. I will say it's rather sad because The Fool is in love with Fitz.

Daniella Drake:

For sure, yes, yes.

Evelyne Crowe:

And Fitz is never going to love The Fool back.

Daniella Drake:

Not in the way The Fool wants, but Fitz does love The Fool as family.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes, I mean The Fool would kill or die for The Fool, absolutely.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, Fitz would die for or kill for The Fool, yes.

Evelyne Crowe:

Absolutely.

Daniella Drake:

For sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

But no, would never marry them. Does not feel romantic love for The Fool.

Daniella Drake:

No, no. And even he acknowledges that that's something that The Fool wants but he is not capable of giving. He makes his peace with it. He does struggle with it at first, but he makes his peace with it. He's like, "You know what? That's okay, I still love them."

Evelyne Crowe:

Well, and he also... I think [inaudible 00:26:09]. He struggles with the idea of the gender fluidity, or just not knowing the gender period. And he does struggle with that because he grew up in a very gender-binary world.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, for sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

They're a man of their world or girl, that's how it works. And The Fool is like, "Does it matter? Why does it matter what parts I have?" It doesn't. It doesn't matter.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly.

Evelyne Crowe:

And then they have a whole conversation, and Fitz is finally like, "You know what? It really doesn't because you are who you are no matter what is under your clothes."

Daniella Drake:

Exactly, and I love you anyway. And it's very sweet.

Evelyne Crowe:

It is very sweet and very powerful.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, for sure, but that's not in this book.

Evelyne Crowe:

It is not, but at the same time though, this whole series is... It is part of it.

Daniella Drake:

It is for sure. And that is why I recommend it to so many people. It's so good. The characters are so complex, and they're so different, and they're... I mean it's just not like anything that was written during this time period. I was in middle school when these books came out, man, and I think I read the first one as a senior in high school. And it was just so different from anything I had read before because the world-building... You can tell the world-building is a priority for Robin Hobb. She makes it a priority. She wants you to feel immersed in this place.

Evelyne Crowe:

And you do.

Daniella Drake:

And you do, absolutely. 100%.

Evelyne Crowe:

It's one of those books where you... Even the series, if you finish reading it and you're just like, "Oh, I can't read anything else for just a bit..." I am totally in that world.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, it is an immediate book hangover. It's so good. I just want everyone to read it because it is so different and good and-

Evelyne Crowe:

The magic system, there are several.

Daniella Drake:

Yes.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, we have the animal magic that we talked about with Nosy as the puppy. I want to say this, we don't deserve dogs.

Daniella Drake:

I fucking love dogs, and this book makes me confirm it every day.

Evelyne Crowe:

Every time I reread it. We don't deserve dogs. Dogs are wonderful and amazing, and we don't deserve them, and I will say that forever. We don't deserve them, and I know that it seems like Nosy dies in the beginning of the book, but he doesn't, so just keep waiting. I can't promise that at the end-

Daniella Drake:

I know.

Evelyne Crowe:

... but it's actually a happy thing at the end.

Daniella Drake:

It's bittersweet, for sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

It's bittersweet, so just keep going.

Daniella Drake:

And it's worth it.

Evelyne Crowe:

You will cry.

Daniella Drake:

I mean this is the thing is I will not watch a show, read a book, watch a movie that has a dog die because I am traumatized when that happens. I have reread this series multiple times, so many times.

Evelyne Crowe:

That's the thing, that book club that I gave this book to, this one person finally read to the end of the book, and they're just like, "Oh, my God, Nosy came back." Then they're crying because they're like, "Nosy came back [inaudible 00:29:28]." It like-

Daniella Drake:

Oh, my God, I will say the end of this book, the last I would say 30%, so intense.

Evelyne Crowe:

You're running. It is running.

Daniella Drake:

You're running, sprinting, and it is hard to read but also satisfying.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

It's so good. I sob every time, and you're right there with Fitz because it's all from his perspective. You're in his head, basically, and you're thinking all the things that he's thinking. So, when you realize that Regal has set you up and he's like, "Oh, you're here to kill the brother," and Kettricken is like, "Why would you kill my brother?" And he's like, "Well, wait a minute, what's happening? I don't want to kill anyone. Why would I do that? I just want to-"

Evelyne Crowe:

"I wasn't supposed to do that. Oh, my God. Wait, you drank that wine-"

Daniella Drake:

"I don't want to."

Evelyne Crowe:

"Motherfucker." And then, "Wait, I drank that wine, God damn it." Just everything, everything is happening, and then, all of a sudden, you're yelling at a book, and then you're crying. And then you're crying more, and then Nosy is there, and you are crying even more.

Daniella Drake:

Ugly crying.

Evelyne Crowe:

It is ugly, snot, there's snot happening.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, yeah, it's bad. It's bad but good. It's so good.

Evelyne Crowe:

It is one of the most fulfilling endings in a book.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, absolutely. And then you cannot wait to get to the second book.

Evelyne Crowe:

For real.

Daniella Drake:

You just cannot wait to read the next one because you have to know what happens.

Evelyne Crowe:

I mean Verity is talking through a person to somebody else and being like, "I will see you when you get back to the wherever." And then it's like the end, and you're just like, "What?"

Daniella Drake:

Yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

That's not the end.

Daniella Drake:

Fucking Verity. I love him so much.

Evelyne Crowe:

God, Verity is amazing.

Daniella Drake:

So good.

Evelyne Crowe:

Look, look, look, look, if I could marry a fictional person-

Daniella Drake:

It would be Verity for sure. 100%.

Evelyne Crowe:

I think I did marry Verity.

Daniella Drake:

You did?

Evelyne Crowe:

I think it was-

Daniella Drake:

Kind of.

Evelyne Crowe:

... kind of Verity.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, kind of. Yeah, I could see that. That's fair. I mean if I had to say that he was a fictional character I think-

Evelyne Crowe:

He's closest to Verity.

Daniella Drake:

... Verity's pretty accurate.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yeah. But yeah, for real.

Daniella Drake:

So good. It's just such a good book. I just love it so much, and every time I get a friend to read it, I feel so satisfied.

Evelyne Crowe:

No, for real. If any of you read this book because of what we're saying right now, you have to tell us.

Daniella Drake:

Please, please, tell us that you read it. Even if you didn't like it, please tell us you read it.

Evelyne Crowe:

I know, I know. Just say you read it because we were just ranting about how good it was.

Daniella Drake:

There are a lot of books... So, this one is the first in a trilogy, and then there are three more. And then there are three that are part of a different trilogy, and then there are three more.

Evelyne Crowe:

Okay, so here's the thing. There's three books, three original books of the Assassin trilogy.

Daniella Drake:

And this one starts them.

Evelyne Crowe:

Then there's a Magic Ship trilogy, which is a different place, and FitzChivalry is not part of that. It's a whole separate area, and I will tell you a secret. People who like the Magic Ship trilogy don't tend to like the Assassin Apprentice trilogy and vice versa, so do with that as you will, whatever. But you do not have to read the Magic Ship trilogy to enjoy the Assassin trilogy.

Daniella Drake:

Absolutely not.

Evelyne Crowe:

It's just more back story.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly, it's just more in that universe.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes. You do meet some of the characters later. They do appear, but it's not necessary. It's just one of those things where it's like, "Oh, I know these people. I read that series," kind of thing. It's like, "Oh, Easter egg." Then there is the second trilogy of the Assassin trilogy.

Daniella Drake:

The Tawny Man, is that right?

Evelyne Crowe:

Tawny Man, yes, I think Tawny Man. And then there is a third trilogy.

Daniella Drake:

Yes, this is the end.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, I think there's nine books total in the Assassin FitzChivalry story.

Daniella Drake:

And it does follow FitzChivalry through his life. So, by the end, he is old and not in great health. I do want to talk a little bit about Chade.

Evelyne Crowe:

Chade and Molly.

Daniella Drake:

So, Chade is his mentor. He teaches him how to be an assassin. And it's actually really funny to me because in this because especially, Chade talks about how he likes being in the shadows, and how he likes controlling things from behind the scenes. But even in this book, you feel like that might not be 100% correct.

Evelyne Crowe:

He is such a showboat even in this book. Even the things he does at the end with the torches. I mean it's like, "Dude, you are a showman, you've always been a showman."

Daniella Drake:

And he desperately wants to be part of the court, but he can't because he's illegitimate and has been trained as an assassin, which is what the Farseers have done with illegitimate children.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

So, you see this kind of heritage that FitzChivalry has been born into, which is not fair.

Evelyne Crowe:

No.

Daniella Drake:

But also makes sense in this world. So, you're like, yeah, I mean what else are they going to do with you? They don't want a loose end that could then claim the crown if they needed to or whatever. It makes sense that they would have you in this role that's in the crown but also separate from it or whatever.

Evelyne Crowe:

I mean it's always actually a really good thing to do with a bastard child, and it makes a lot of sense. And I actually am surprised that more fantasy books don't have bastard children be assassins. It's really fucking genius.

Daniella Drake:

Robin Hobb stumbled onto something that hasn't really been explored much, which I feel is a lack. Why aren't there more bastard children that are just raised to be assassins?

Evelyne Crowe:

I mean think about it, you can send them off and they can be diplomats, and then they can just quietly kill somebody in the middle of the night and then go home.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly.

Evelyne Crowe:

And they have diplomatic immunity.

Daniella Drake:

And you train them to read, you train them to right. They've got the education of a royal basically.

Evelyne Crowe:

They are royalty, they have diplomatic immunity. They can literally kill with impunity. Why can't they be fucking assassins?

Daniella Drake:

Exactly. But going back to Chade specifically because I remember thinking... So, again, you're reading from Fitz's perspective, so it's a little bit of that unreliable narrator thing that we've talked about a few times. But you're impressed with Chade, when you first meet him, you're like, "Wow, this person is so impressive." He's scary. He's a little bit strange.

Evelyne Crowe:

He's like a mad scientist behind the walls.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly, exactly, he lives in the walls of the keep. You're just like, "What is this guy doing?"

Evelyne Crowe:

To a child, he's literally just like, "Oh."

Daniella Drake:

Exactly. And so, as a reader, you're thinking the same thing. You're like, "What is this guy doing?" And eventually, you start to go, "No, but seriously, what is this guy doing? What is going here? How long has he been living in the walls? This is not normal. This is not okay. I don't think he's well." And it's a little bit upsetting because he becomes Fitz's father figure in a lot of ways, and I'm not sure that he is the healthiest father figure for Fitz to choose.

He is very smart. He's very good at what he does, but he's also a little bit crazy and a little bit drunk on power and makes you not like him very much. Even in the first book, I feel like you're like, "Oh, I don't know. I don't know about you." Especially when you have him contrasted with Burrich or even Patience where Patience is trying desperately to be a mother figure to Fitz. She wants to be a part of his life. She wants to help him become the best version of his self that he could be. She might think that that might be a bit different version than he does, but she's there for whatever, so-

Evelyne Crowe:

And she would never do anything that would put Fitz in direct danger.

Daniella Drake:

Never. She would actively work to keep him out of danger.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes. Whereas Chade is like, "Okay, you're going to go into direct danger now-"

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, that's for sure.

Evelyne Crowe:

"... because that is what your job is and that is what my job is, is to put you in direct danger now."

Daniella Drake:

And Fitz just shrugs and says, "Okay, that's the job, so fine."

Evelyne Crowe:

Galen. Galen, in and of itself, is a whole other issue.

Daniella Drake:

No, he literally imprints with his skill that Fitz is incapable of using his power. He literally can't learn how to use it now. And he tries to get him to commit suicide. He literally tries to get him to throw himself, and it's only because he has this other kind of magic that he's able to stop himself. And it's because the dog is like, "I don't think you should do that. I think you should come back and snuggle with me."

Evelyne Crowe:

No. No, it was even worse than that. It was like, "But I love you."

Daniella Drake:

That's right. "Why would you do that? I love you."

Evelyne Crowe:

"But I love you. What would you... But I love you. Come snuggle with me."

Daniella Drake:

Oh, my God.

Evelyne Crowe:

I'm telling you, we thought the dog dies.

Daniella Drake:

Every fucking book.

Evelyne Crowe:

It was this fucking dog, it was this puppy who was just going, "I love you, and I don't want you to die."

Daniella Drake:

That's exactly right. That is exactly what happens. Oh, my God.

Evelyne Crowe:

Your heart is literally torn from your chest, and Fitz is just going, "Oh, my God."

Daniella Drake:

"I can't do this," yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

"You're right."

Daniella Drake:

But that's the only reason why Galen isn't successful. If Fitz didn't have the wit, he would have killed himself because Galen forced that thought into his brain, which is crazy.

Evelyne Crowe:

We don't deserve dogs.

Daniella Drake:

I know.

Evelyne Crowe:

Nosy and his little puppy, the whole thing is just like, oh, my God, the dog.

Daniella Drake:

Oh, my God.

Evelyne Crowe:

And then we have Molly. So, Molly is the love interest throughout the entire series. Here's the thing, FitzChivalry is a one-trick pony. He fell in love, and that was it for him. Literally, that was it for him.

Daniella Drake:

Had no other thought for any other girl ever.

Evelyne Crowe:

Ever.

Daniella Drake:

Ever.

Evelyne Crowe:

I think he did once sleep with one other person.

Daniella Drake:

Maybe.

Evelyne Crowe:

It was a hedge witch.

Daniella Drake:

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

But it was literally just sex. But yeah, he had one person. So, I guess, in that, he was a wolf.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, that makes sense.

Evelyne Crowe:

But Molly was the daughter of a Chandler, as he calls it, candlemaker. She did the best she fucking could.

Daniella Drake:

Absolutely.

Evelyne Crowe:

I loved Molly.

Daniella Drake:

She was very practical, very down to earth, very grounded.

Evelyne Crowe:

I loved her, and I think she did the best she fucking could, and I had no problems with her when she said... She looked right at FitzChivalry and went, "Fuck you." And then he [inaudible 00:42:16].

Daniella Drake:

Yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

Because what was she going to do?

Daniella Drake:

Well, even Patience when he... Because Patience took Molly on as a maid in this book, and Fitz doesn't treat her very well. And even Patience is like, "What the fuck is wrong with you? You're supposed to love this girl and you're just going to treat her like this. No, I'm not having it. You're done."

Evelyne Crowe:

There was no promise of marriage, there was no promise of anything else. It was literally just like, "I am horny."

Daniella Drake:

Exactly, and even Patience, at that point, was just like, "I'm done with you. This is not okay."

Evelyne Crowe:

And so, it's no wonder when shit happens as it does when you're fucking horny and you're not taking any precautions. And Molly was just like, "I don't trust you to do the responsible thing, so I'm out of here. Bye." And she leaves. And of course, FitzChivalry is like, "What?"

Daniella Drake:

I know. He is dopey sometimes.

Evelyne Crowe:

He is so dopey.

Daniella Drake:

And other times he's too emo.

Evelyne Crowe:

God, he's so emo.

Daniella Drake:

There are some books in this series where I just want to shake him and be like, "Please, stop."

Evelyne Crowe:

Some of it is because of things that happen in the book, and you have to forgive for him that.

Daniella Drake:

For sure, and some of it is also drug dependency. He is using drugs to help him be more healthy, which, unfortunately, takes a toll on his mental health.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, yes, you have to take that into account.

Daniella Drake:

But it is also hard to read.

Evelyne Crowe:

But at the same time, you just want to be like, "Dude."

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, but that's later in the series. We're getting ahead of ourselves.

Evelyne Crowe:

Because she leaves, and then he has all these skill dreams about her, and then he's just moping about how she's living this life without him, and I'm like, "Dude."

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, he mopes a lot, unfortunately.

Evelyne Crowe:

Dude.

Daniella Drake:

But he's also a teenage boy, so I guess that makes sense.

Evelyne Crowe:

Dude.

Daniella Drake:

Also, can we talk about Kettricken for a minute?

Evelyne Crowe:

Oh, my gosh. She's amazing. I love her.

Daniella Drake:

She's amazing and I love her. She's literally 18 years old when we meet her, right? She's so young.

Evelyne Crowe:

She tricks FitzChivalry and practically poisons him right out the gate. Right out the fucking gate.

Daniella Drake:

Because she thinks she's saving her brother's life.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yeah, because Regal's a fucking snake.

Daniella Drake:

Doesn't work.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, it doesn't work, but at the same time, it's like, "Dude, you just met this guy and you're already poisoning him right out the gate."

Daniella Drake:

But the thing that really stood out to me was the way that Robin Hobb sets it up is, in the mountains, the leaders are trained literally from birth. Your job when you inherit this throne is to serve the people.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

Right? And especially right now, because we're in the United States, we have an election coming up, we're thinking about what it means to be in power, and what your job mean, and what your responsibilities are. And so, reading this book right now has a different meaning for me than it has in the past because that idea of being a quote, unquote, "public servant", I think is lost right now.

Evelyne Crowe:

It was interesting too because you read it, and when they get to the mountains and all the nobles are like, "Oh, we can't get to the palace because it's too high, and we don't know how to get there, and our carts won't go." And all these people come out of the palace to take them up. Those aren't peasants, those aren't servants. Those are lords, those are ladies. Those are the king and queen themselves, to help them, carry them to the palace because they're servants themselves. And when Fitz learns this, Fitz was embarrassed. He was like, "Oh, my gosh. What? Who?" Because then he realized that Kettricken's mom carried him, carried him up the mountain, and that was mortifying.

Daniella Drake:

Well, and that's a testament to Fitz's character because he, obviously, also sees himself as a public servant. He is there for the people of the Six Duchies. That is his role, and even though he works from the shadows, he still sees himself as someone who is working for the people. And this is something that I don't think a lot of the other Six Duchies people really sees. They don't really value.

Evelyne Crowe:

Well, look at Regal.

Daniella Drake:

Exactly.

Evelyne Crowe:

Regal took it as his due to be carried up by whoever.

Daniella Drake:

It's more about how people view you. Perception, and it's all surface-level for him, which is unfortunate. But I feel like reading it now, especially, it really resonated in a different way than it has even before just because thinking about government as something that is for the people instead of corporations or rich people. It's a very interesting thing to see in a series that was written in 1995. Something that we've been dealing with for a very long time, and will continue to deal with, I'm sure, for longer. But it really, it stuck out to me this time because I just remember thinking, interesting, interesting. The juxtaposition between the mountain folk idea of what a ruler means with the Six Duchies.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yep.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

[inaudible 00:48:22].

Daniella Drake:

But I love Kettricken. I think she is phenomenal, amazing. One of my favorite characters. Total badass, very smart. Amazing, love her.

Evelyne Crowe:

Absolutely, 100%. Go read this book. Just go read this book. Go read the whole fucking series.

Daniella Drake:

Just go read it. Read the whole series.

Evelyne Crowe:

There is so much complexity. It's just-

Daniella Drake:

It's so good, and I will admit that the first one is a little bit slow, but my God, it picks up so fast.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

And it's worth it.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yes.

Daniella Drake:

And the last one came out not even that long ago. I want to say seven years.

Evelyne Crowe:

Yeah, I say that, but I'm like, "Is it 10 years ago?"

Daniella Drake:

Was it 10 years? I don't think it was that long.

Evelyne Crowe:

I hope not.

Daniella Drake:

I want to say seven or eight, but I would have to look it up.

Evelyne Crowe:

It's still almost 10.

Daniella Drake:

I know, I would have to look it up. But, still, so good.

Evelyne Crowe:

Indeed. Okay, so what are we reading next?

Daniella Drake:

Next, we're going to have a little bit of fun. We're going to read Lord of the Fading Lands by C. L. Wilson. This is about cat dragons.

Evelyne Crowe:

Cat dragons and fay, fairy elves.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, I can't remember. I haven't read it since Vaginal Fantasy.

Evelyne Crowe:

Oh, my God, this is one of those books... Okay, y'all, I started reading this book, and then I was like, "What the fuck am I reading?" And then I couldn't stop reading it.

Daniella Drake:

Yep, pretty much. Pretty much, yeah.

Evelyne Crowe:

So, it's amazing.

Daniella Drake:

I read the entire series I remember.

Evelyne Crowe:

The whole series. I could not stop reading any of it.

Daniella Drake:

Yeah, so this should be very interesting. I can't wait to talk about it and-

Evelyne Crowe:

Cat dragons.

Daniella Drake:

Cat dragons. So, we'll see you next time. I am Daniella Drake.

Evelyne Crowe:

And I'm Evelyne Crowe.

Announcer:

Thank you for joining us for this episode of Intoxicated Literature. Drink well, friends.